"To My Debbie"

In the early morn of April tenth

     relieved I breathed a sigh.

A happy ending finally

     when I heard your tiny cry.

The nurse said "it's a beautiful girl"

     the doctor said "she's healthy".

If I'd been living in poverty

     at that moment I was wealthy!

It seemed like time would never pass

     before they brought you in

and I could feel you in my arms

     and touch your fragile skin.

I'd seen so many babies before

     so precious and so small

but of anything I'd ever experienced

     this moment topped them all.

I remember how you sighed and cooed

     and though it was seventeen years away

These memories are so vivid still

     as though it were only yesterday.

I marveled at the miracle I held

     amazed, verifying each tiny part.

Ten little fingers-ten toes too

     I didn't know where to start!

The nurse had taken special pains

     to tie a silky red bow

among your locks of curly black hair,

     Oh! If only you could know-

How much I was filled with pride and love

     as I held your tiny being.

The same young lady, now seventeen

     that in your sleep I'm seeing.

Captions of memories and feelings

     representing the passing years.

And fragments of times I cherish so

     make up a volcano of tears.

Tears I guess, both happy and sad-

     sad because along the way

there were things I should have done and didn't.

     Did I overlook things I should say?

It's important to me for you to have

     the things that left me void.

I want to shelter you from all pain

     though some things you can't avoid.

Other tears represent memories of-

     so many things we've been through.

How ironic the parallels of two lives cross

     as if we were one-not two!

Thank you for all the loving times

     you've brought me over the years.

For countless times of moral support

     that minimized doubts and fears.

It seems I could write forever and still

     not even  begin to touch

on the multitude of feelings I feel

     because you mean so much.

God knew before I knew myself

     that I couldn't be complete

without a daughter like you beside me

     to help me conquer defeat.

To help remind me when I'm feeling

     all reasons for living are gone-

There's a reason more vital than myself

     and for it I must go on.

He knew just how a daughter should be

     how she should look, what she should do

to give me pride in life's highest form,

     that's why God gave me you!  

                                          Love,

                                                   Mom

(Written April 10th, 11th & 12th of 1979)

This poem was written for me for my birthday.  I turned 17 on April 10, 1979.  One month later, on May 8th, my mother was killed in a car accident.