So today we've had our horses boarded for about two weeks and we are getting absolutely nowhere with them. It's not their fault really, it's just that we suck at being horse owners. When I say we I really mean me. I am too afraid to do anything with them and they know it. Yes, I know, I know, you have to let them know who's the boss (Alpha Mare), don't let them know your afraid of them and all of that but.... I can't. When Terra pins her ears back at me I run like a chicken. I can't help it. I'm afraid she's going to suddenly turn on me and try to kick me or run over me or something. I'm very irritated with myself about this but can't seem to change it. I was hoping that by boarding them with a trainer we would get help but unfortunately, in trying to save a dollar (as I must because I have no money) I ended up with a trainer who really isn't a trainer at all. At this point I want to just bring them home, be depressed for awhile about not riding them and hope I get a second wind. This getting older thing really sucks because 20 years ago I wouldn't have let horses bully me so but now I'm afraid of getting hurt or worse, my daughter getting hurt. If only I could find the courage I used to have. Oh well, can't turn back time.
So I told Bobby, the 'trainer' we wanted to bring them home and he's jumping through hoops to get us to stay there because he likes us and we help around the barn a lot. They've practically asked us to stay for free but I hate driving out to care for them twice a day when we could have them in our own back yard so I am insisting even though they say "You still have the rest of the month" etc. I'm teetering on seeing if I can trade them both in for one older, more tame guilding vs. paying someone else to train our horses and make them rideable. Feel like another failed endeavor of mine and another wasted $200.00. Maybe I'll feel better after my depression/new wind era. Wish us luck. I'm not giving up yet.
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